Wonderful Obsession

Why do I write? Seems a simple question, with a simple answer. Because it's what I do, it's a hobby right?

If only it were that simple. Instead it's sort of a mad desperation to get all the chaos in my mind...out. Funny thing is if I do get it out often times it becomes something wonderful. Or at the very least readable. That is what every writer struggles for, something readable.


I've been reading since I was barely old enough to understand the concept, started writing around the age of ten. At least on paper, the stories in my mind began long before that. Those voices in your head? I put mine to work.

I started with pen and paper, graduated to a typewriter, than a word processor and well now you can imagine the different devices I have available. It's amazing how far the world of writing has come. I remember my hand aching because it hurt from putting pen to paper but did I stop? Not even close I'd continue until I couldn't physically hold the pencil anymore. I learned much from those days. How to recognize my own crap writing, how to keep trying and how to rewrite something almost entirely from memory because you spilled something all over the original.

Nobody said writing was easy. In fact I think it would be easier to juggle on one foot while skipping rope. Yet still it is in fact something I must do, I'm compelled at any given moment to take what has wormed it's way into my brain and force it out in something resembling a story.

I used to be fiercely protective of my work, going so far as to never share it with anyone. It was a lack of faith in myself and those around me that kept me so guarded. I've learned since then that putting yourself out there is the only way to grow. In fact much like growing into an adult it's extraordinarily painful and less than pretty to watch. Be prepared to be insulted, embarrassed, chagrined and corrected. But there comes a moment when you realize it's all worth it, more than worth it, it's exhilarating.

There are very few things that come as close to the emotional roller coaster of being a writer. I can experience nearly anything through the words and worlds I create. I can live moments I might never otherwise take part in. It's no joke when people say writing is a laborious process. It's taken me over twenty years to find the courage to publish something for the world to read.

But I've found that place that I hope every writer finds. I'm happy with what I write; I enjoy it, I aim for others to enjoy. When I put it out there I have faith that I've created something I can be proud of. In the end if no one buys a book, I never become famous, or do a book signing it won't matter. Because ultimately I became confident in what I write and that is better than anything else.